In her book of essays, poet Mary Oliver wrote, “…you must not, ever, give anyone else the responsibility for your life.” It’s a lesson I learned the hard way, after breaking free of a very long, unhappy marriage. I learned it once more, as if to make sure I understood…

Are all of these delightful moments too much to ask of life? — I don’t know why finding what we need in life and then being happy with it is so hard. I think most of us want the same things: connection, acceptance, affection, and respect. Love. Like most of the single, straight women I know, I’m still waiting — but I’m no…

And building a future that helps it flourish. — A few years ago I was listening to a writer’s panel discuss the realities of a career in writing. The guest speaker, a handsome, successful writer, was asked, “What advice would you give to someone aspiring to a writing career?” He answered, “Marry someone with a good job, someone who…

He wants to stay for a month, but a month is a long time to spend with a complete stranger. And my recent experience with a BnB guest who had to be forcefully evicted by my beefy next-door neighbor hasn’t left me in a trusting state of mind. “OK…but we’ll…

According to available Census data, fifty percent of all first marriages end in divorce, often around the time you send your kids off to college. In second marriages, the success rate is even worse — sixty percent. So, what’s an unhappily married person to do? Be strong, be prepared, and…

The rescue-dog that saved me. For twelve years, he’s brought magic and comfort to my life… — Our marriage is disintegrating and I know there is only one thing that would increase my happiness at the moment — and that is to get another dog. My husband is an alpha male who strongly prefers to govern all pack decisions. He doesn’t want another dog, ever, and he’s…

Oh, the Irony … — I’m a prolific author of women’s fiction with a bevy of beta-readers who get turned on by my books. My nine books, still awaiting publication, aren’t girl-meets-boy romances. They’re more complex, with interesting plots, diverse geographic locations, and always, a problem to solve. Some recent titles even cross over into…

My dog is old, with terrible breath and rheumy eyes. His nose is crusty and he loves to scratch it, hard, On my denim-covered knee. He’s wobbly-footed On slippery floors — but he can still gallop Through the soft desert sand, smiling, As he pauses to catch his breath in the shade Of a juniper tree…

“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” — Maya Angelou — There are rules to be followed and rules to be broken — and a less-than-rigid relationship between rule-following and success. Conventional wisdom isn’t always best, because it doesn’t factor in how hard you’re willing to work, and the ever-changing nature of public desire. …