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Bachelor in Paradise — Senior Edition
There are so many single people in my age bracket that I can easily imagine a new show called “Bachelor in Paradise — Senior Edition.” And I would probably apply to be on the show, because who wouldn’t love a free trip to Mexico? But there would be some key differences from the current reality show.
Overall, there would be a lot less vomiting. We old people learn how to hold our liquor, or we’ve got our 20-year chip in AA. And, instead of asking Jorge, behind the bar, for a double shot of Tequila, some of us would be asking, discreetly, if he had any Prilosec behind the Tiki bar because the nachos they served at lunch were really spicy.
And as we’re getting to know each other, we’d pull out our cell phones and the woman would ask, “I’m dying to show you all of my grandchildren? Oh, look, here’s a cute one of Tyler. He was learning how to feed himself spaghetti. Now, how do I “X” out of it? I always have trouble with that.”
And the silver fox would say, “Just a sec, let me put on my readers. Hey, can I borrow yours? I left mine up in the cabana. Damn it, I can’t remember a thing these days. I’m such a knucklehead! …Oh, yeah, yeah, he’s a cutie. I think he’s got your nose. Okay, check out the halibut my son and I caught on our fishing trip to Homer last summer. That thing was five feet long or I’m a monkey’s uncle.”
