It Can Take a Lifetime to Heal from Narcissistic Abuse

But it’s not impossible.

Photo by William Farlow on Unsplash

“He” never called me by my name. In those early years, when I was home with the kids, I heard only “mommy” or “hey” so often that my own name sounded unfamiliar to my ears, so my use of the male pronoun is intentional. Then came the sad realization that I would routinely be neglected on every holiday: No birthday gifts, cards, celebrations, or acknowledgement. But Christmas was the worst, with dozens of gifts under the tree for our two sons, but none for me. Once, “he” tied a small piece of paper to the tree with a message in it for me. But it was so tiny and hidden that I only found it when I took the tree out for the Boy Scouts to pick up at the curb. Like every other pathetic scrap of paper that followed, it was another empty promise. Eventually, our toddler sons began to ask the painful question, “Why doesn’t mommy get any presents?” I asked that question, myself.

“He” took my two-year-old to California without my permission and never once called to check in with me during the week he was gone. “He” ignored me when I was anxious about our second son’s premature birth, which I tried to prevent by strictly adhering to eight weeks of bedrest. Emotionally, I was on my own — that much was clear. Even my two-year-old had greater empathy and understanding of my situation and helped to get…