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Mercury Retrograde and Dogs
A true story of life gone wrong
Have you ever had a day that sucked from the minute you woke up? I feel as if there are strange astrological events taking place today, most likely, Mercury is going retrograde. I spent the morning cleaning, gardening, and tidying up, interspersed with multiple sessions of trying to train my dog to stay on the front porch using beef jerky (also known as doggie crack). My theory was that if the only place in the world where someone gives him beef jerky is my front porch, he’ll stick around, or at the very least, check in frequently.
Leaving the dog on the front porch, I quickly showered and dressed for a Match.com meet and greet. That clueless dog left for a neighborhood walkabout, and then proceeded to play a game of tag with me for fifteen minutes, thus making me hot and sweaty, disheveled, and late for my date.
I drove too quickly and got a warning look from the police car I passed, going thirty in a twenty-five, and got to the cafe. But my date didn’t even show. Sadly, it’s not the first time that’s happened. I fumed for twenty minutes, then drove more slowly, gritting my teeth, to the grocery store.
While shopping for calming, homeopathic supplements and household goods, I ran into a fairly-famous celebrity, a well-known and frequent star on the Hallmark channel…
