The Man I Married Is Still the Smartest Man in the Room, the Best Conversationalist, and Even the Best Writer.

But he’s someone else’s husband now

Photo by Kate Joie on Unsplash

I would love to write about the smart, exciting, evolved man, who I spontaneously met following my divorce in 2016. I have visions of my new partner and I hanging out in our cozy mountain cabin with a fire crackling in the wood stove and our two dogs lying at our feet, while we work on our respective novels. I would enjoy being partnered with another writer, someone who understands this often lonely journey. But it hasn’t happened. And to be honest, this particular vision is a little “specific.” (Although if “specific” happened to be available and interested, I would have a hard time saying no.)

Although I am single, interested, and attractive, I don’t usually “attract” anybody — at least not anybody with the cojones to let me know. So I continue to head out on my short research trips and inspirational outings alone, and I have no plans to stop writing fiction.

What irritates me up the wazoo is this:

The single-most discerning review of my recently published book arrived in my inbox yesterday. It was from my ex-husband, who knows me so incredibly well. He “sees” things in my writing that no one else possibly could. And he knows the inspiration behind the characters, every little nuance. Surprising me, he took the time to tell me in a well-thought-out email, and he’s a brilliant writer.

I also know, and he doesn’t know I know, that he’s working on a novel too. So, I sometimes have strangely compelling fantasies of the two of us holed up in his actual mountain cabin talking late into the evening, discussing plot lines, and maybe reading each other’s first drafts. It could be a great life, I muse. But, darn it, there is this huge insurmountable obstacle in the way — his current wife, who I happen to like very much. Oddly, she’s a writer, too. So, maybe, someday, the three of us…

Um, no. Hold that thought…

What I really want is to stop meeting (albeit, only occasionally) men who present with a multitude of complex issues that I am way too old and jaded to deal with. It’s not like you can just place your order with the universe — I…