MENTAL HEALTH

What Happens When Mental Health Is No Longer on Autopilot?

When nothing feels natural or easy — keep going

Photo by Emma Simpson on Unsplash

For years, decades even, I never really thought about my mental health. Sure, I cried and felt low for a few weeks after a bad breakup, but I could persevere, pull up my big girl pants, and get shit done, more or less on time. I could still be me.

Things began to go downhill after I had a complete hysterectomy at the age of 43, and exactly one year later, I went into sudden “surgical” menopause. It’s like regular menopause — but in response to not having the equipment to keep churning out sex hormones — which, to be very real, control a lot more than one’s libido.

Mood, balance, energy, even sharp thinking can all be affected by the lack of estrogen, testosterone, or both. After trial and error, I found supplemental topical creams that helped, until they didn’t.

After painfully ending a thirty-year relationship and moving to a series of new places in an attempt to start over, I ended up living alone in the high desert for the past two years of the Covid pandemic. It hasn’t been a picnic. I’ve also suffered through Covid twice — once last fall, and a repeat performance this spring, which left me with a mild swallowing deficit and brain fog…