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Women Initiate Most Divorces — So Why Do We Assume Men are the Ones Who Leave
Why Does This Odd Misconception Persist? Sexism and Ageism likely have something to do with it
Note: this piece is written from a cis-hetero perspective because that is my personal perspective. But I fully support the Respect for Marriage Act and believe that anyone deserves to partner with, marry, and/or have children with anyone they desire.
When my marriage ended, every stranger I met, even women, assumed my husband was the one to ask for the divorce. They would state this with one-hundred percent certainty — but my closest friends knew the truth.
I had been wanting things to get better, to be more equal, for years; and by the time we hit the twenty year mark, I knew that possibility was highly unlikely. But I had to wait out the financial crisis of 2008 and the long slow recovery, after, before even considering leaving.
During those years in between, I put more than my fair share into the marriage, even during its death knell. But I knew, deep down, that things would never change — and that life is short. I don’t consider myself a pessimist, but my mother died suddenly, in her sleep, at age 70; and my father passed suddenly while at the grocery store, at age 74. I wanted…