You nailed it. All of these reasons are why I'm no longer married to a narcissist. But there are varying degrees and "types" of narcissists. And I do disagree with the statement that "narcissists don't want closeness." They do, but only on their terms. And I believe that one of the biggest frustrations of my former husband's life is that he finds it almost impossible to ACHIEVE closeness with others. That this is often due to the narcissist's actions does not make it less painful. It likely makes it MORE painful. While we are no longer together, I have empathy for my former narcissist spouse. The reason we are no longer together is that, as a narcissist, he had no empathy for me. And still doesn't.